...Do not use the word "audiophile", it doesn't sound right.

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Q: How long does it take for an audiophile to change a light bulb?

A: Forever, because he can't get past the double blind testing.

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Q: how many audiophile does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: seven one to actually put the bulb in the socket, five to determine whether the cable running to the lamp will affect the quality of the light output and the last one to argue that cables are meaningless without a light meter that will measure in millionths of candle power.

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The audiophile, on his way to his Linn dealer to have his LP12 adjusted and tweaked for the 507th time, stops at the bank to make a quick cash withdrawal. Figuring that it will only take a couple of minutes, he leaves his precious 'table' in full view on the back seat of his car. He runs into the bank. Upon returning to his car he notices that one of the windows has been smashed. Oh no!!! he cries in despair and when he looks in, he sees: TWO LP12's.

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